The Day the Dopes Came Over by Steve Martin I was sitting at home, minding my own business, when my doorbell rang. "Who's there?" I shouted. "We don't know," came the reply. I immediately knew the dopes had come over. I opened the door and invited them in. I was happy to have company even if they were a bunch of dopes. "Well, what brings you over this way?" I queried. "Yup." "Yup." "Yup." "Yup," they said. "Would you like some coffee?" I asked. "Gol," said one dope, "how long have we been here?" "About two minutes." "Gol, we should have left hours ago!" And they packed up some of my things and lumbered out. "Goodbye, Dopes!" I shouted. They turned to me and shouted back, "Goodbye, you big f$&@^&* idiot!"