Life After Layoff

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Omega Supreme

Oct 9, 2014
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I got laid off after the pandemic because I thought I was better than I was.

I thought I was more valuable than I was.

I wanted to continue to work-from-home like most everyone else at my company.

Even though I was there for years, but I got laid off.

Now I find myself over the hill, washed-up, and old.

They say that getting laid off is right up there with divorce and bankruptcy when it comes to life’s most stressful events.

It’s true. It’s been 3 years and the pain just won’t go away.
 

davenn

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Sep 5, 2009
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Yeah, I have been through 3 layoffs during my 45+ years of working life
It aint fun, one was a major company reconstruction that saw over 1000 person lay off
The other 2 were company closures
 

poormystic

Jul 23, 2023
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Hi :)
It was crappy health that knocked me out of my job, not layoffs. Still, I unwillingly lost my place in the workforce.
Since then, my life has changed very much, from a good income to subsistence on a government pension.
I've been keeping myself going by working on an invention the last 18 months. It's not easy work and it's costing me lots of money, but it's giving me some hope.
The worst of it is loneliness - it's very hard to run a successful social life without an income. So my invention - it lets me put my time into something that might turn out good for me, all while keeping from feeling that there's nothing I can do for myself.
 

Omega Supreme

Oct 9, 2014
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Hi :)
It was crappy health that knocked me out of my job, not layoffs. Still, I unwillingly lost my place in the workforce.
Since then, my life has changed very much, from a good income to subsistence on a government pension.
I've been keeping myself going by working on an invention the last 18 months. It's not easy work and it's costing me lots of money, but it's giving me some hope.
The worst of it is loneliness - it's very hard to run a successful social life without an income. So my invention - it lets me put my time into something that might turn out good for me, all while keeping from feeling that there's nothing I can do for myself.

Yeah, I know how you feel :(.
I think I just got old, weaker and slower with age. I could not maintain the level of effort I could put forth when I was first hired.

I thought that all those years I was outworking everybody would mean I would eventually be cut some slack later in life.

But no, in a corporation it’s always, “What have you done for me lately? “

When I lost my job, I had to give up on getting a girlfriend and had to accept being an incel (ie. “involuntarily celibate”).

 

poormystic

Jul 23, 2023
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We sure are way "off-topic" but fair enough :)
In a similar situation I was lucky enough to find someone who needed help. She was an invalid who didn't feel good about staying with her family. I looked after her for 7 years, as her friend, until she passed.
Putting my efforts in on someone else's behalf did me nothing but good.
I'll say this, and I've heard it elsewhere, too... caring for others as if they were just as important as you can save your life.

There are volunteering organisations in most cities, and things will start to get better as soon as you make a positive step.

I hope this helps. It's just general advice really - it's not possible to read a person well enough over a phone or by letter to give them good personal advice and I won't try. But it is general advice - anyone who gives their time unselfishly to others learns something wonderful about life.

Mark
 

Omega Supreme

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Yeah Mark:), I heard volunteering at a soup kitchen is a tonic for one’s woes, to get your mind off yourself. I think there is some truth to that.

Friedrich Nietzsche said:

“He who has a why can bear almost any how. “

In my case, I just lost my why. I knew I was not doing what I needed to stay employed. I knew what to do to keep from getting laid off. But I just either did not want to or I lost motivation. I felt like I ran out of gas. I stopped caring.

Either way, I knew it was happening. I saw it happening right before my eyes, as clear as a train about to crash. Yet, I let it happen anyway.

I could have stopped it. Yet, I just didn’t, for some reason. It was my own fault. I have no one to blame but myself.
 

Omega Supreme

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Holidays are always a bittersweet time for me.

Yes, I get to visit and see my family.

But I have to pretend that I still have a job because I don’t want them to worry or feel sad.

I just don’t want to burden them with my problems.

And I don’t think involving your family is any way to forge a career or life for yourself. That’s something we all have to figure out for ourselves, alone.

 

Omega Supreme

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In Leo Tolstoys The Death of Ivan Illyich, the main character Ivan, from his deathbed, looks up at his wife and says,

“What if my whole life has been wrong?”

Tolstoy continues, “It occurred to him that what had appeared perfectly impossible before, namely that he had not spent his life as he should have done, might after all be true. It occurred to him that his scarcely perceptible attempts to struggle against what was considered good by the most highly placed people, those scarcely noticeable impulses which he had immediately suppressed, might have been the real thing, and all the rest false. And his professional duties and the whole arrangement of his life and of his family, and all his social and official interests, might all have been false. He tried to defend all those things to himself and suddenly felt the weakness of what he was defending. There was nothing to defend.”
 

Omega Supreme

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I used to look to the movies for inspiration. I wished life could be this way:


where all of a sudden your doubts disappear and things start to come together for you, everything begins to make sense, and you can see everything clearly, as they actually are.

And you become the Nietzschean ideal of the “Superman”.
 

Omega Supreme

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I’ve been consulting the great books and this is my favorite one for rebuilding oneself and making a comeback:

 

Omega Supreme

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I was wondering if it’s worth it to get the PE (Professional Engineer) license. It seems like a money-grab to me. And I don’t think you need it to get a job.
 

Omega Supreme

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Sometimes you think that there’s no end in sight, no light at the end of the tunnel, that all seems lost, and help is not coming.

I felt that way during bootcamp and they played us this song to help us to get through it:


I think it’s just as applicable to those who have been laid off and feel too old and tired to start over, and see their situation as hopeless.
 

Omega Supreme

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I’ve had to look back at my childhood for inspiration and I remember finding this transformation really empowering:


It felt like getting a daily booster shot of dopamine, an injection of joy.
 

Omega Supreme

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“To be, or not to be” soliloquy from Hamlet (Act 3, Scene 1).

“To be, or not to be: that is the question:”

Should I exist, or not exist — should I live, or die? That’s what I’m wondering.

“Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer / The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,”

Is it more noble to quietly endure life’s harsh attacks — the unfair blows of fate —

“Or to take arms against a sea of troubles / And by opposing end them?”

—or to fight back against all of life’s problems, and, by resisting, put an end to them?

The Idea of Death as Escape

“To die: to sleep; / No more; and by a sleep to say we end / The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks / That flesh is heir to…”

To die would be like sleeping — a peaceful end to all pain, heartbreak, and suffering that come with being alive.

“‘Tis a consummation / Devoutly to be wish’d.”

That’s something one might deeply wish for.

Fear of the Unknown

“To die, to sleep; / To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there’s the rub;”

But when we die — that sleep — we might dream. And there’s the catch…

“For in that sleep of death what dreams may come, / When we have shuffled off this mortal coil, / Must give us pause.”

Because no one knows what kind of dreams or experiences await us after death — and that uncertainty makes us hesitate.

The Burden of Consciousness

“Thus conscience does make cowards of us all;”

Our awareness, our conscience, our ability to think and fear consequences — makes us afraid.

“And thus the native hue of resolution / Is sicklied o’er with the pale cast of thought;”

Our natural determination to act is weakened — made “pale” — by overthinking.

“And enterprises of great pith and moment / With this regard their currents turn awry, / And lose the name of action.”

And so, big, important plans lose their force and never get done because we think too much.

Summary — What Hamlet Means

Hamlet is contemplating suicide and the meaning of existence.

He wonders:

Is it more courageous to endure the pain of life, or to end it and escape the suffering?
  • Death might be like sleep — peaceful — but what if there’s something terrifying after death?
    That fear of the unknown keeps people alive, even in misery.
Ultimately, Hamlet realizes that our thoughts and fears paralyze us, turning our will to act into hesitation.
 

Omega Supreme

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“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times…”


“It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done;
it is a far, far better rest that I go to than I have ever known.”
 

Omega Supreme

Oct 9, 2014
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I never got married or had children. I was married to my job.

I wonder whether having the responsibility of taking care of a family would have prevented me from getting laid off.

I would not have taken risks like I did, being so bold, standing up to my boss, standing up for myself and what I wanted. I would have been too terrified of losing my job.
 
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