British Television?

[abbeyman]

"The baby vomited on me and so I did not want to go to the office stinking to buy a license as I fancy the guy that works there." Sadly no longer applicable now you can do it on line

 

[HarryA]

two more for you:

My dog, not me, watches it to keep him company while I'm at work.
The subtitles on my TV are set to French, so I'm not paying a U.K. tax for something I can't read.

A note from the same source: More than a quarter million people are fined annually for having unlicensed TVs.