Comedy Thread

[bertus]

 

[Delta Prime]

 

[poormystic]

that gives me onion eyes
and crocodile tears

there are 2 bacteria going into a bar and the bouncer doesn't like the look of them
they just duck under his hands and in
they say
you can't stop us, we're staph

 

[Delta Prime]

that gives me onion eyes
and crocodile tears

No silly! It’s a tongue-in-cheek joke about engineers being great at math but not spelling.
In my mind I read it and pronounced it as Un-ionized…pertaining to an atom or molecule.
While electricians group together and become unionized at work.

 

[poormystic]

No silly! It’s a tongue-in-cheek joke about engineers being great at math but not spelling.
In my mind I read it and pronounced it as Un-ionized…pertaining to an atom or molecule.
While electricians group together and become unionized at work.

View attachment 69814

No.
It's because when electricians become ionised they become mutually replulsive and go off by themselves.
It's basically the same with cooks.

 

[Delta Prime]

 

[poormystic]

there were some worrisome sub-harmonics which seemed to originate from her mother

 

[Delta Prime]

there were some worrisome sub-harmonics which seemed to originate from her mother

You’re joking is skipping “Cycles” at 1/8 my Power.
You really “Dampened” my “Fundamental” joke down to a lower “Frequency level.”
That was an…
“Sub-Harmonic Distortion” of my original joke—half the speed and twice as hard to Filter.

 

[poormystic]

Apologies for the subtle, higher frequency information lost - I was only trying to rectify the matter.
Thomas Bowdler

 

[Delta Prime]

@poormystic
@poor mystic
It has nothing to do with losing high frequencies.You can’t even get that right.
This is the comedy thread. Stop trolling me…

 

[poormystic]

Perhaps I can find a crummy 'nough joke fourier...

Why do electronics engineers carry a pencil and paper into haunted houses?
To draw their own conclusions.

A circuit designer walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We have two kinds of beer here: analog and digital."
The designer asks, "What's the difference?"
The bartender replies, "With digital, you get exactly one liter. With analog, you get approximately one liter, plus some thermal noise, offset error, and maybe a little harmonic distortion."
The designer sighs and says, "I'll take the digital."
The bartender slides over a single, solitary drop of beer and says, "Here you go: a '1'."

Why did the PCB designer get thrown out of the thermal management seminar?
He couldn't stop making heat sink puns. He said they were just too cooling, and the audience's tolerance was dissipating rapidly. Security finally told him his conduct had exceeded the absolute maximum ratings for the venue.
(So he had a meltdown.)

 

[Delta Prime]

 

[Delta Prime]

My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. So I unplugged his life support.

 

[poormystic]

Seems a bit nasty. It's a style of "humour" I've seen before - in Groucho Marx, and in Charlie Sheen. They were nasty people.

 

[Delta Prime]

My girlfriend is really helping me to keep fit.​

Every time she mentions marriage, I run a mile.

 

[Delta Prime]

1. After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a historian until I realized there was no future in it.

 

[Delta Prime]

Actual conversation overheard in my first day working in the electronics laboratory.
Engineer 1: My girlfriend wants me to go line dancing.
Engineer 2: What the hell is line dancing?
Engineer 3: It's like square dancing, but with one less dimension.
I knew then this was my new home…

 

[Delta Prime]

 

[Delta Prime]

 

[davenn]