Dear netizens
Please note that this post is fraudulent. I did not post that, nor do I have
an email address at Yahoo.
Attempts at annoyning me with libellous demeaning diatribes like this will
fail. The only thing didactic about the post above is to be found in THIS
message to you, wherein I lay the law down upon you.
Do you hope that I am so dumb that I would fall for tactics like this?
Be aware that it might come back to smack you in the face. I urge you to
cease these otiose posts.
In any case though I am impressed at the attention given to my 'device'
which underlines superlative marketing and publicity skills for which
others pay in my role as a consultant.
Turning the other cheek...
Peter E. Lowrie.
Oh thank God you're here. Yes, I'd love to subscribe to the Times, and
purchase a year's supply of herbal stimulant hormone therapy (guaranteed to
make me longer, wider, thicker, bigger around, and much smarter), six
months of free financial advice for only $299.95, phone therapy for my cat
for the next two years, safe effective herbal hair regrowth formula,
Miracle-Lube to make my car go faster while getting 200MPG at over 100MPH,
the miracle cable decoder, the other miracle cable decoder, the cable
decoder that works, the other cable decoder that works because the miracle
cable decoder doesn't, the amazing fat reducing diet pill, the amazing
fat-reducing grilling machine that made George Foreman only weigh 400lbs,
Ron Popeil's thing that I only have to set and forget (I can't remember the
name), a set of Chef Tony's Miracle Blade Knives that won't even go dull
after I use them to cut your car in half, a fifteen month supply of herbal
jatoba, a six month retainer at Jacobi and Meyers, fifteen weeks of the
Wall Street Journal, two dozen magic quit-smoking patches (invisible skin
tone), Zoloft, Paxil, Prozac, Vinoxx, Celebrex, Zyban, Viagra, more Viagra,
Xenecal, Propecia, Minoxidil, Canibus, Psilocybe, free money from the
German Government, free porn, $50 for my opinion, free expansion,
enlargement, lengthening, and engorgement (without surgery, exercises,
pumps, or painful stretching), money back guarantees, $20 just for trying,
a bachelors degree just for being me from a prestigious NON-ACCREDITED
university in your basement, sex with every woman I want, a mortgage for
only 1.5%, and to have already won.
If you take credit cards, please call me. Please have your credit card
ready, including the card number, expiration date, and the full name on the
card. I take MasterCard, Visa, Discover, and American Express. Please mail
the card to me to complete the order.
-- Mike --
... (really!)