Mathematical jokes

[Joe Legris]

Er, yeah...
I can't see even Jackie Mason making that one sound funny. Oh well...
Any others?

You don't really need calculus to get it, just a feel for analogies.
Here are some more typographical "limits":

As L approaches 7, 6 approaches 9
As Z approaches 2, 5 approaches S

Get it now?

 

[Ben Pope]

You don't really need calculus to get it, just a feel for analogies.
Here are some more typographical "limits":

As L approaches 7, 6 approaches 9
As Z approaches 2, 5 approaches S

Get it now?

Click!

Guess I should have written it down on paper!

Ben

 

[Roy McCammon]

Hi all,

Anyone know any rip-roaringly amusing mathematical jokes?

The Texas lottery

 

[Tom]

I read in sci.electronics.design that Paul Burridge


Yes, but being mathematical, it can't be written in ASCII.

Take this 'pseudo-code' and write in mathematical symbols:

Limit, as alpha tends to infinity, of 3 = 8.
--
Regards, John Woodgate, OOO - Own Opinions Only. http://www.jmwa.demon.co.uk
Interested in professional sound reinforcement and distribution? Then go to
http://www.isce.org.uk
PLEASE do NOT copy news posts to me by E-MAIL!

the oldies are the best ones. I remember Les Dawson doing that old one....

Tom

 

[Frank Raffaeli]

Er, yeah...
I can't see even Jackie Mason making that one sound funny. Oh well...
Any others?

In graduate school, we were such nerds, we used to speak to women in
formulas. This one, posed as a question, rarely had the desired
effect:

Ru/18 -> qT-pi()

Frank Raffaeli

 

[Paul Hovnanian P.E.]

Hi all,

Anyone know any rip-roaringly amusing mathematical jokes? I mean, of
the non-binary kind, since although they were side-splittingly funny,
we did cover those a few months back.

This isn't actually a joke. Some years ago, a (rather conservative)
department store had an advertisement for women's suits placed in the
local paper. Typical of this kind of ad, they had photos of models
wearing suits engaged in 'professional looking' activities. One of the
photos was of an attractive, but scholarly looking woman (big glasses,
hair pulled back in a bun, etc.) writing an equation on a blackboard.
The equation was (excuse my crummy ascii integral):


/\ 13
/
/ 2x dx
/
\/ 10

 

[Jim Thompson]

This isn't actually a joke. Some years ago, a (rather conservative)
department store had an advertisement for women's suits placed in the
local paper. Typical of this kind of ad, they had photos of models
wearing suits engaged in 'professional looking' activities. One of the
photos was of an attractive, but scholarly looking woman (big glasses,
hair pulled back in a bun, etc.) writing an equation on a blackboard.
The equation was (excuse my crummy ascii integral):


/\ 13
/
/ 2x dx
/
\/ 10

You forgot to mention the big jugs ;-)

...Jim Thompson

 

[Paul Burridge]

In graduate school, we were such nerds, we used to speak to women in
formulas. This one, posed as a question, rarely had the desired
effect:

Ru/18 -> qT-pi()

Frank Raffaeli

Ah, formula humour. At least I understood that one!

 

[Michael]

Hi all,

Anyone know any rip-roaringly amusing mathematical jokes? I mean, of
the non-binary kind, since although they were side-splittingly funny,
we did cover those a few months back.

p.

I like this one

http://www2.rpa.net/~dreher/santa.htm

 

[Ben Pope]

I like this one

http://www2.rpa.net/~dreher/santa.htm

"conventional reindeer"


LOL.

Ben

 

[Keith R. Williams]

Ah, formula humour. At least I understood that one!

Well, since this is an ASCII medium... How about:

integral of e^x = f(u^n!)

 

[Roy McCammon]

This isn't actually a joke. Some years ago, a (rather conservative)
department store had an advertisement for women's suits placed in the
local paper. Typical of this kind of ad, they had photos of models
wearing suits engaged in 'professional looking' activities. One of the
photos was of an attractive, but scholarly looking woman (big glasses,
hair pulled back in a bun, etc.) writing an equation on a blackboard.
The equation was (excuse my crummy ascii integral):


/\ 13
/
/ 2x dx
/
\/ 10

69

 

[Roy McCammon]

The Texas lottery

NASA probability theory

 

[Frank Raffaeli]

Paul Burridge <[email protected]> wrote in message news:<[email protected]>...

[snip]

Ah, formula humour. At least I understood that one!

Ok ... not math, but better than my last one:

------------

How do you keep a programmer in the shower all day?

Give him a bottle of shampoo that says, "Lather, rinse, repeat"

------------

This guy bursts into the house and yells, "Pack your bags, Honey, I
just won the lottery!"

She says," Oh, wonderful! Should I pack for the beach or for the
mountains?"

He replies," I don't care....Just get the **** out!!!"

 

[Rolavine]

A riddle I made up on 9/12

What is a prime that does not need a primer?

ans, 757

also, did, Euclid looked up and said, "its being intersected by a plane".

Walka, walka.

Rocky

 

[Kevin Aylward]

I like this one

http://www2.rpa.net/~dreher/santa.htm

And what about all those suckers that believe in a god, that dude has
really got his work cut out for himself.

http://www.anasoft.co.uk/replicators/religion.html

Kevin Aylward
[email protected]
http://www.anasoft.co.uk
SuperSpice, a very affordable Mixed-Mode
Windows Simulator with Schematic Capture,
Waveform Display, FFT's and Filter Design.

http://www.anasoft.co.uk/replicators/index.html

Understanding, is itself an emotion, i.e. a feeling.
Emotions or feelings can only be "understood" by
consciousness. "Understanding" consciousness can
therefore only be understood by consciousness itself,
therefore the "hard problem" of consciousness, is
intrinsically unsolvable.

Physics is proven incomplete, that is, no
understanding of the parts of a system can
explain all aspects of the whole of such system.

 

[Winfield Hill]

There are only 10 types of people in this world.
Those that understand binary, and those that don't.

ROFLOL

 

[Terry Pinnell]

Dean, to the physics department. "Why do I always have to give you
guys so much money, for laboratories and expensive equipment and
stuff. Why couldn't you be like the math. department - all they need
is money for pencils, paper and waste-paper baskets. Or even better,
like the philosophy department. All they need are pencils and paper."

http://www.terrypin.dial.pipex.com/Images/MathsJokes.gif

 

[Kevin Aylward]

...

ROFLOL

There was this experimental mathematician that had a conjecture that all
odd numbers were prime.

He starts off, the first odd number 1 is prime, ahmm..the 2nd odd is 3,
yep that's prime, what about the 3rd, that's 5. Doing well he
thought...the next odd is 7, wow, great he thought, what's next, ermmm
9, but wait that's divisible by 3, that's not prime. However, I'll
continue anyway, he mussed. well, the next is 11, super...that's prime,
what about the next odd one, well 13.. magic he thought. That's prime as
well. So case closed, all odd numbers are prime, 9 must just have been
an experimental error.

Kevin Aylward
[email protected]
http://www.anasoft.co.uk
SuperSpice, a very affordable Mixed-Mode
Windows Simulator with Schematic Capture,
Waveform Display, FFT's and Filter Design.

http://www.anasoft.co.uk/replicators/index.html

Understanding, is itself an emotion, i.e. a feeling.
Emotions or feelings can only be "understood" by
consciousness. "Understanding" consciousness can
therefore only be understood by consciousness itself,
therefore the "hard problem" of consciousness, is
intrinsically unsolvable.

Physics is proven incomplete, that is, no
understanding of the parts of a system can
explain all aspects of the whole of such system.

 

[Ted Wilson]

Hi all,

Anyone know any rip-roaringly amusing mathematical jokes? I mean, of
the non-binary kind, since although they were side-splittingly funny,
we did cover those a few months back.

p.

I suppose the following could be considered vaguely mathematical:

Q: How many Martians does it take to change a light bulb?

A: 3.74

Regards

Ted Wilson

"If the players want to make it hard for me, I am happy to make it
twice as hard for them." - Wendy Toms, the first female referee to
officiate in a professional game.