Understanding Engineers ( jokes)

[Jim Thompson]

On 6 May 2004 14:43:47 -0700, [email protected] (N. Thornton) wrote:

[snip]

When the brakes failed it didnt phase me cos I'm an engineer. I just
stopped a bit further along than I would have liked. Pumped them,
applied handbrake, changed course to give longer stop space, hit the
gears... fairly simple stuff.

The car I saw on the news drove 300 yards from a standing start: thats
a fair few seconds and a fair few options.


Regards, NT

When I was a youngster, and my brakes failed, I drove around for
nearly a week on the hand brake until I could afford the parts to
rebuild the brakes.

Also push-started a car until batteries went on sale at Sears ;-)

...Jim Thompson

 

[Dave VanHorn]

"Well, in summer it keeps my tea cold and in winter it keeps my coffee hot.
How does it know?"

Tv's like that. How do they know what size screen I have, when they adjust
the movie to fit it?

 

[Pat Ford]

Fred Bloggs wrote:

The whole point is that it's running off of the crankcase oil -- you
shut off a diesel by cutting off it's fuel (that's how you throttle it,
for that matter). Assuming that the cutoff valve is functioning
properly you're not _getting_ any fuel.

Incidentally when I was growing up my father came home one day laughing
and cursing. He was a member of a volunteer fire department, and
someone had brought one of the pump rigs in after an alarm and filled it
up with gasoline. Apparently gasoline powers a diesel just fine, but
its viscosity is low enough that the normal fuel shutoff doesn't work --
the better diesel engines also have an emergency air shutoff valve,
which is what they had to use.

--

Tim Wescott
Wescott Design Services
http://www.wescottdesign.com

I've rebuilt diesels that were blown apart by gas. Diesel fuel burns fairly
slow compared to gasoline, and the speed difference is enough that the full
expansion can happen before top dead center. At that point either the head
pops up or the crank goes down. usualy fatal to the engine either way.
Pat

 

[Pat Ford]

On 6 May 2004 14:43:47 -0700, [email protected] (N. Thornton) wrote:

[snip]

When the brakes failed it didnt phase me cos I'm an engineer. I just
stopped a bit further along than I would have liked. Pumped them,
applied handbrake, changed course to give longer stop space, hit the
gears... fairly simple stuff.

The car I saw on the news drove 300 yards from a standing start: thats
a fair few seconds and a fair few options.


Regards, NT

When I was a youngster, and my brakes failed, I drove around for
nearly a week on the hand brake until I could afford the parts to
rebuild the brakes.

Also push-started a car until batteries went on sale at Sears ;-)

...Jim Thompson
--

same here, I sold the rear brakes off my civic, while at trade school (
automechanics, doing "regulatory studies"), because I ran out of money.
The same car had a very weak battery and I had to bump start it until I got
a good battery given to me by the garage that I was apprenticing at.

Ah the good old days as a student...
Pat

 

[Jim Thompson]

same here, I sold the rear brakes off my civic, while at trade school (
automechanics, doing "regulatory studies"), because I ran out of money.
The same car had a very weak battery and I had to bump start it until I got
a good battery given to me by the garage that I was apprenticing at.

Ah the good old days as a student...
Pat

Indeed!

I had a '61 Renault Dauphine for the first few years I worked at
Motorola (Phoenix).

It was so light I could run down the parking aisle pushing it along,
jump in, pop the clutch and away-you-go ;-)

...Jim Thompson

 

[Charles Edmondson]

On 6 May 2004 14:43:47 -0700, [email protected] (N. Thornton) wrote:

[snip]

When the brakes failed it didnt phase me cos I'm an engineer. I just
stopped a bit further along than I would have liked. Pumped them,
applied handbrake, changed course to give longer stop space, hit the
gears... fairly simple stuff.

The car I saw on the news drove 300 yards from a standing start: thats
a fair few seconds and a fair few options.


Regards, NT

When I was a youngster, and my brakes failed, I drove around for
nearly a week on the hand brake until I could afford the parts to
rebuild the brakes.

Also push-started a car until batteries went on sale at Sears ;-)

...Jim Thompson

Used to always have to push start my old VW Squareback, at least a
little. Had a bad spot on the flywheel gear that the starter couldn't grip!

 

[Richard Henry]

Indeed!

I had a '61 Renault Dauphine for the first few years I worked at
Motorola (Phoenix).

It was so light I could run down the parking aisle pushing it along,
jump in, pop the clutch and away-you-go ;-)

My first VW bug was easy to start. My room-mate (who also had an old bug)
had a speed-wrench attachemnt for the fan belt pulley that would turn the
crankshaft over directly to start the engine.

After the key broke off in my ignition one nignt, I hotwired the car to get
home, then the next day I dug a couple of household light switches out of
the junkpile, one for ignition, one for starter, and mounted them in the
dashboard.

But I wasn't a student. I was in the Navy.

 

[Jim Thompson]

My first VW bug was easy to start. My room-mate (who also had an old bug)
had a speed-wrench attachemnt for the fan belt pulley that would turn the
crankshaft over directly to start the engine.

After the key broke off in my ignition one nignt, I hotwired the car to get
home, then the next day I dug a couple of household light switches out of
the junkpile, one for ignition, one for starter, and mounted them in the
dashboard.

But I wasn't a student. I was in the Navy.

Actually my Dauphine came with a crank, but I never used it. It was
so easy to run along beside it until it got up to maybe 5MPH, jump in
and pop the clutch.

...Jim Thompson

 

[N. Thornton]

same here, I sold the rear brakes off my civic, while at trade school (
automechanics, doing "regulatory studies"), because I ran out of money.
The same car had a very weak battery and I had to bump start it until I got
a good battery given to me by the garage that I was apprenticing at.

Ah the good old days as a student...
Pat

Both these brought back memories I always offered other students
lifts, that way I could get them to do the push start lol. Thankfully
uni was in a very hilly location, but it led to some odd choices of
parking spots.

That car taught me a lot about cars: when youre a student you have to
learn, no good running to the garage with it.


Regards, NT

 

[Terry Given]

Thats where I think the difference is. I'm used to addressing
questions of safety, handling dangerous kit and situations, and
managing things going wrong. I see every situation in life as having
risks, and a series of fallback options. So I already know the
options, know the drill, and quickly put it into action. With non
engineers these things have never even crossed their minds, they have
no concept of safety, they havent a clue what to do, and when crap
goes down they turn stupid and act like jelly.

when I was a teenager, my sister, her friend and I went to a party. The
friend drove home, as Kim and I were pissed as newts (trans.: drunk). It was
3am or so in midwinter, on a narrow winding country road. coming around a
corner we hit a patch of ice (wasnt even black) and spun sideways. Whilst
Kim and I were yelling to the driver to steer into the skid, she took BOTH
hands off the steering wheel, covered her eyes and screamed. We did a couple
of 360's then slammed broadside into a bank. We all had seatbelts, so no
injuries, but hell the car looked funny the next day - the entire LHS was
crumpled, and clods of grass were sticking out from every conceivable crack.
Kim declared that, even pissed, she was a much better driver (true!) and got
us home safely.

lots of people panic first. I reckon your comments are spot-on.

cheers
Terry

 

[Rich Grise]

Two mechanical engineers were discussing inventions and one said to the
other:

"What is the greatest invention man ever devised?"

After a moments thought the answer was:

"The thermos bottle"

"The thermos bottle? How so?"

"Well, in summer it keeps my tea cold and in winter it keeps my coffee hot.
How does it know?"

Al

In HS physics, the teacher said, "when you push against the wall, the
wall pushes back with the same force." Some kid actually asked, and I
am not making this up, "How does the wall know how hard to push?" I
think he knew it was funny at the time - he was rather a clever sort.

Cheers!
Rich

 

[Rich Grise]

This reminds me of the news articles on runaway cars, where they would
go into full throttle uncontrollably. The picture showed the wall the
driver drove into head on, and died. He'd had several hundred yards
from a standing start to regain control, but evidently didnt.

I was puzzled: there are so many ways to prevent that accident, ways
that just seem obvious. Move the gear shift, turn the ignition key one
click left, spin the car, those are obvious and simple, and there are
plenty more last ditch ways to save your life... yet one could only
conclude the non-engineer driver took not one single step to save his
sorry ass as he hurtled full throttle to his death. I couldnt
understand that.

Maybe some of us are used to taking on things that some would just poo
their pants over.

This actually happened to me once. Three times, actually, in the
same rental car in one week. I just stood on the brake, and dumped
it into N. The tach popped up to about 5K, and it settled right
down.

I told them, in no uncertain terms, to fix the car before they rented
it to some little old lady. Or anyone else, actually, but she was the
example I used at the time.

Cheers!
Rich

 

[Sir Charles W. Shults III]

On 6 May 2004 14:43:47 -0700, [email protected] (N. Thornton) wrote:
When I was a youngster, and my brakes failed, I drove around for
nearly a week on the hand brake until I could afford the parts to
rebuild the brakes.

Wow, Jim- didn't you run out of gas first?? It must be tough staying
away for a week while driving!

Cheers!

Chip Shults

 

[Jim Thompson]

Wow, Jim- didn't you run out of gas first?? It must be tough staying
away for a week while driving!

Cheers!

Chip Shults

Typed while you were half-asleep ?

...Jim Thompson

 

[KR Williams]

Indeed!

I had a '61 Renault Dauphine for the first few years I worked at
Motorola (Phoenix).

It was so light I could run down the parking aisle pushing it along,
jump in, pop the clutch and away-you-go ;-)

Our college car was a '70 Gremlin, the *most* appropriately named
car ever made. Yes, I push started it myself *many* times. It
was less than a month old when the electrical system (and every
other) started collapsing. AMC blamed me for shorting out the
spark plugs when trying to tune it up (15mpg for a little car?).
Oh yeah, that sheared off two brushed in the alternator (and put
the extra bolt in the wheel drum too). What a PITA that hunk-o-
junk was. AMC and the dealer were even worse than the car.

 

[Jim Thompson]

news:[email protected]... [snip]
Also push-started a car until batteries went on sale at Sears ;-)

...Jim Thompson
--

same here, I sold the rear brakes off my civic, while at trade school (
automechanics, doing "regulatory studies"), because I ran out of money.
The same car had a very weak battery and I had to bump start it until I got
a good battery given to me by the garage that I was apprenticing at.

Ah the good old days as a student...
Pat

Indeed!

I had a '61 Renault Dauphine for the first few years I worked at
Motorola (Phoenix).

It was so light I could run down the parking aisle pushing it along,
jump in, pop the clutch and away-you-go ;-)

Our college car was a '70 Gremlin, the *most* appropriately named
car ever made. Yes, I push started it myself *many* times. It
was less than a month old when the electrical system (and every
other) started collapsing. AMC blamed me for shorting out the
spark plugs when trying to tune it up (15mpg for a little car?).
Oh yeah, that sheared off two brushed in the alternator (and put
the extra bolt in the wheel drum too). What a PITA that hunk-o-
junk was. AMC and the dealer were even worse than the car.

I know that car well... my sister and brother-in-law had one. Same
sort of experiences... more time in the shop than on the road.

...Jim Thompson

 

[Guy Macon]

I know that car well... my sister and brother-in-law had one.
Same sort of experiences... more time in the shop than on the road.

I had a Fiat 128... AAAAAAARRRRRGGGGNNNHHH!!!

 

[Jim Thompson]

I had a Fiat 128... AAAAAAARRRRRGGGGNNNHHH!!!

I don't remember that model. I remember a Fiat 600.

...Jim Thompson

 

[Spehro Pefhany]

I don't remember that model. I remember a Fiat 600.

...Jim Thompson

When I went to Eastern Europe on a study tour in 1986, Poland was
filled with little Fiat Polskis. About the size of an old Mini.
Italian engineering and Communist manufacturing. You could buy one new
for $5K US.

http://perso.crans.org/~bouyer/Images/Polski.jpg

Fiat might have had a hand in the old Ladas as well. They have much to
answer for.

Best regards,
Spehro Pefhany